Church Football

            The Super Bowl is over. I thought this would be fun to pass along. Someone sent it to me back in 1999.

Church  Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation. 

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship. 

Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave. 

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. 

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service. 

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work. 

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings. 

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime.”

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep. 

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life. 

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service. 

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.