“19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 2:19).
Occasionally I’ll note something in social science that confirms the teaching of scripture. One the most recent was from the book, JUST LISTEN, by Mark Goulston.
Goulston, a former hostage-negotiator, writes that the normal response to someone’s anger is to respond with raised voices and arguments. Instead, one should listen closely, ask questions, and repeat what you heard the individual saying.
In doing so, you make the person feel like he has been heard. Hence, the odds are increased that he will respond in a “conciliatory” manner.