It’s time for something funny. Someone sent
this to me several years ago:
Top Ten Fun Things to Do In a Mall
10. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
9. Wear pancake makeup and new
clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally
screaming without warning.
8. At a department, buy pajamas in the clothing department, change into
them, and then test mattresses in your pajamas.
7. Rummage through the jellybean
bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.
6. In the changing rooms, announce
in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France..."
5. "Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the
fake fireplace display.
4. Ask the information desk for a
stroller, and someone to push you around in it.
3. Hand a stack of pants back to the
changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are
"leakproof".
2. At the stylist, ask to have the hair
on your back permed.
1. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally
pausing to scratch yourself.
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