Having preached in some Texas country churches, I appreciate the following post someone sent to me years ago. Here are some of the highlights:
1. The doors are never locked.
2. The Call to Worship is "Y'all come on in!"
3. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.
4. The restrooms are outside.
5. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
6. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't ever been in a hole it couldn't get me out of".
9. When it rains, everybody's smiling.
10. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
11. The church directory doesn't have last names.
12. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash.
13. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
14. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
15. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
16. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 O'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen calls inquiring about your health.
17. It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there.
18. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya’ll hear.”