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Showing posts with label Christmas humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas humor. Show all posts

Friday, November 18, 2011

Angels Explained by Children


            We are close to the Christmas season and the singing of songs celebrating angels-- celebrating the birth of Jesus. In that spirit, a humorous look at angels as explained by children.

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
            --Gregory, 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
            --Olive, 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
            --Matthew, 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
            --Mitchell, 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.
            --Henry, 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!.
            --Jack, 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.            
            --Daniel, 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.
            --Reagan, 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.
            --Sara, 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.
            --Jared , 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it.
            --Antonio, 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
            --Vicki, 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
            --Sarah, 7              

 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Children's Christmas Carols


Okay, I don’t know if great theological truths can be gleaned from the following, but sometimes, it is fun just to laugh. Someone sent the following several years ago. I hope you enjoy them:


            Children's Christmas Carols

            No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:

            Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly

            We three kings of porridge and tar

            On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me

            Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire

            He's makin a list, chicken and rice

            Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel

            With the jelly toast proclaim

            Olive, the other reindeer

            Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say

            Sleep in heavenly peas

            In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he
is sparse and brown

            You'll go down in listerine

            Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay

            O come, froggy faithful

            You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"

            Good tidings we bring to you and your kid