My
wife, Judy, teaches writing at a junior high school in Tyler. I bet she can
relate to the following, which gave me a laugh:
Top
Ten Worst Analogies Found in High School Papers
10. “The politician was
gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
9. “He spoke with the
wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he
looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and
now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of
looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in
it."
8. “The little boat gently
drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
7. "McBride fell 12
stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable
soup."
6. "From the attic
came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like
when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7
p.m. instead of 7:30."
5. "Her hair glistened
in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
4. "Bob was as
perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\\aaakk/ch@ung but
gets
T:\\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake."
3. "Her vocabulary was
as bad as, like, whatever."
2. "The hailstones
leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot
grease."
1. “Long separated by cruel
fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other
like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55
mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."
Clearly,
these analogies were efforts poorly conceived and executed. They fall short of
the mark… like my efforts before God have often done.
"23 for all have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God…" (Rom. 3:23 NIV.)
