How do you Trace Your Family History?

            We live in such a cynical age.

            This was from the advice columnist “Dear Abby” several years ago:

            Dear Abby,

            I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

            Sam

            Dear Sam,

            Yes. Run for public office.

The Black Sheep of the Family

             I cracked up reading about the great Dr. Samuel Johnson, who, while courting a woman, felt compelled to confess that his family had their skeletons in the closet. One example: he had an uncle, who was hanged.

            The woman he was courting was a master diplomat. She replied that, while no one in her family had been hanged, at least fifty family members deserved such.

Family Strife

Recently, I read about a young man named Jason Zacchi of Dearborn Heights, Michigan. He chose to rob a local Wendy's.

According to the police report, Zacchi, who is 27 years old, walked up to the drive-through window. He had in his hands a sawed-off shot gun. He demanded money. There was a commotion. The restaurant's manager came to see what was happening.

Immediately, she recognized the robber, in spite of the fact he wore a blue bandanna to cover his face. The reason she recognized him -- she was his mother. Police arrested Zacchi and his girlfriend accomplice and charged both with armed robbery—after his mother turned him in.

All of this reminds me of a story I read in the Bible. It, too, tells of a family member committing a crime against another family member. It is found in Genesis 4...

Those Are My Trophies

Mark Kriegel writes that a few years ago, Michael Shustek, chairman and CEO of the Las Vegas-based real estate company, Vestin Group, hired Joe Namath as the company’s spokesman.

Shustek grew up a huge fan of Broadway Joe, the superstar athlete who famously guaranteed his New York Jets would defeat the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III. His favorite BRADY BUNCH episode was the one where Joe Namath made a guest appearance. He was also well aware of Namath, the playboy bachelor, who spent the first twenty years of his adult life squiring the most beautiful women of the world.

But Namath married and had two small daughters. “Broadway Joe” was no more. Instead, Namath had devoted himself to his wife and his two young daughters. He endured a devastating divorce, in which his wife left him for a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, a move she had calculated would help advance her career as an actress and artist. Namath received custody of his daughters.

One day, Shustek and Namath enjoyed a game of golf. Afterwards, Shustek asked to see Namath’s trophies. Namath, AFL and Super Bowl MVP, the Hall of Famer, took Shustek into a room, where his daughters’ school art projects were the focal point of the room. Pointing to them Namath said, “There. Those are my trophies.”