Going to Bed Angry

            Husbands and wives should never go to bed angry. There is an old story about a husband and wife who were experiencing a conflict. They each resorted to the classic “silent treatment.”

            Then the man realized he would need his wife, who was an early riser, to awaken him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper before bedtime, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

            The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife had not awakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

            The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

            Conflict can hurt relationships. It is impractical.

            One way to address conflict is to address anger. Paul shared these words of practical advice, “’In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Eph. 4:26-27 NIV.)           

            Those are good words to live by.

           

The Love Letter

           I read about a letter a sweetheart wrote to her ex-fiancé.

Dearest Jimmy,

            No words could ever express the great unhappiness I’ve felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you’ll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me.

            I love you, I love you, I love you!

            Yours forever,

           Marie.

           P.S.  And congratulations on winning the state lottery.

            Love the one your with, especially, before they make it big.

Life From a Woman's Perspective

        A decade or two ago, a friend sent me the following dictionary for women. Women, do you agree with the definitions?

Airhead (er-hed) n.  What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Argument (ar-gyou-ment) n.  A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Bar-be-que (bar-bi-q) n.  You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner".

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.  Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri-yer) n.  An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy-it so-da) n.  A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a pound of M&M chocolate covered peanuts.

Eternity (e-ter-ni-tee) n.  The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex-er-siz) v.  To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres-er) n.  Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.  See also "Magician".

Hardware Store (hard-war stor) n.  Similar to a black hole in space...if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child-brth) n.  You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "Focus... breath... push... Good Girl!"

Park (park) v./n.  Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere romantic".  After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa-shens) n.  The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.  See also "tranquilizers."

Valentine's Day (val-en-tinez dae) n.  A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah-tr-pruf mas-kar-ah) n.  Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Zillion (zil-yen) n.  The number of times you ask someone male to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

Finding a Babysitter

            Are you like me? Is it easy for you to allow your kids to swallow up all of your family time?           

            A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child answered, “They could not get a babysitter.”

            I don’t know about that, but I do know couples spending time together—away from kids—is important. Guys, let’s find a babysitter so we can spend time with our wives.

Too Late to Take Her Out

            Being single can be discouraging if you want to marry. Sometimes, if one is not careful, discouragement can lead to bitterness.

            I can’t help but think about the old story of the elderly woman who passed away.

            Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive; I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.”

            

My All Time Favorite Joke

            Okay, the following is my all-time favorite joke. I have updated to reflect current technology. If you are an after-dinner speaker, it is guaranteed to get you a laugh. You're welcome:

            A guy goes to the gates of heaven where he meets St. Peter. St. Peter says to him "God has looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition" 

           The man says, "What's that?"

            St. Peter says, "You must spell the word 'Love'." So the guy does and he is let into heaven.

            As he gets in, St. Peter's cell phone goes off with a text message. He tells the man to watch the gate until he returns, and reminds him that he must ask whoever comes to spell the word.

            Next thing you know, the guy’s wife shows up at the gate and he asks her what she is doing there?

            She says that on the way home from the funeral, there was an accident and she died. The husband says, “Alright, but you do have to spell one word first before you come in to heaven.”

            She asks, "What's the word?"

            The guy says, "Spell ‘Czechoslovakia.’"

Marriage--the Major and the Minor

            Two young husbands, who had been married only a year, were discussing their various marital problems.           

            “I’m the head of my house,” said one, “I think I should be; after all, I earn the money.”

            “Well,” said the other, “my wife and I have a perfect agreement. I decide all of the major matters, and she takes care of all of the minor ones.”

            “And how is that working out?”

            Embarrassed the other replied, “Not too well. So far, the only matters that have come up have been the minor ones.”

A Picky Man

            Recently, a wedding announcement appeared in the media outlets of Rochester, New York. 99-year-old Gilbert Harrick married 86-year-old Virginia Hartman. It was his first marriage. Hey, when the right one comes along....

            Herrick and Hartman were both nursing home residents. Gilbert met Virginia while admiring her artwork. They got to know each other, and, ultimately, fell in love.

            On June 6, an interview with reporters revealed that the couple would have loved to elope to Fiji, but the rules of their nursing home deny them the opportunity for travel. They settled for a hometown wedding.

            I love that story. And while I would not want anyone to have to wait 99 years to marry, I do appreciate the concept of carefully selecting one's mate. In an age that holds too high a value for physical beauty, there is something to be said for getting to know the soul of an individual. 

           Marry well–you may someday be living with that handsome 25-year-old in a nursing home… when he is 99.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Prov. 18:22.) ESV

Source: WORLD MAGAZINE, July 30, 2011, p. 16.

Label the Bottles Clearly

             Many years ago, a farmer’s wife admonished her druggist, “Now be sure to label those bottles plainly; which one is for the horse, and which one is for my husband.”

            “Oh, don’t worry, I will,” replied the druggist. “Why are you so concerned?”

            “Because,” she answered, “I don’t want anything to happen to that horse before spring plowing!”

Hope Over Experience

The story is told of a gentleman who had been an acquaintance of the great British author, Dr. Samuel Johnson. The man had been very unhappy in marriage. His wife passed away; yet, he immediately remarried after she died.

            Observing this marvel, Johnson commented, “His conduct was the triumph of hope over experience.”

The Black Sheep of the Family

             I cracked up reading about the great Dr. Samuel Johnson, who, while courting a woman, felt compelled to confess that his family had their skeletons in the closet. One example: he had an uncle, who was hanged.

            The woman he was courting was a master diplomat. She replied that, while no one in her family had been hanged, at least fifty family members deserved such.

Conforming to MY Image

             Several years ago, somebody sent me a humorous joke about an Amish family, who, for some reason, were visiting a mall.

            The father and a son were walking through the mall together, and they were amazed by almost everything they saw. They were especially struck by the two shiny silver walls, which could move apart and then slide back together again.

            The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

            The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don't know what it is."

            While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a little old lady, using a walker, shuffled up to the two silver walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady hobbled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small, circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

            Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

            I know a lot of young people and singles, who do that with their dates. They find someone they are attracted to. They then project an image on the screens of their minds. The image is of who they wish the young woman or young man to be. Overtly or covertly, they then begin to try to change them--so the date will conform to the image.

            I think it best to let dates be themselves. If that is not good enough, they should find someone else to date.

Hold on To Your Crown

I read this article several years ago in the newspaper. This is quoted straight from the account:

REDDING, Calif. - Like thousands of other people returning from a Christmas trip, Kenneth Zimmer, 36, discovered when he got home Monday that he had left something important behind.

     But Zimmer's case is more embarrassing than most.  It seems he was driving from San Francisco to his home in Eugene, Ore., when he stopped 100 miles south of the California-Oregon border in Redding.

     Zimmer told police that he left his wife Pat, 36, and their five children sleeping in the back of their van while he had a cup of coffee, then continued the final four to five hours of his drive home.

     The children were all fine when Zimmer arrived home around dawn.  But - no wife.

     About six hours later, after the embarrassed student teacher filed a missing person report with Redding police, his wife telephoned from the Eugene bus depot asking for a ride home.

     There were no reports of anything she may have said to her husband.

            I would hope that this husband’s normal view toward his wife was like the proverb, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown…”

            Of course, if that were true, maybe the verse this husband needed to remember would have been Rev. 3:10, “I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown.” :) 

Their First Fight

Three weeks after her wedding day, Barbara called her preacher.

She wailed, "Nate and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. EVERY marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Barbara. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

In conflict, it is important to take a deep breath, be patient, and proceed carefully.

It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vow (Prov. 20:25).

For Better or Worse

A few years ago, a woman wrote in a national magazine about attending a wedding. Her husband had begun attending college again, so money was tight for her family of seven.

At the wedding, the minister asked the bride-to-be, "Do you take this man for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?"

Hearing the question, the woman’s four-year-old daughter turned to her mother and said in a whisper loud enough for many to hear, "You picked poorer, didn't you, Mom?"

When it comes to the challenges of marriage, I hope we will all pick staying.

Why?

The parents of Pulitzer-prize winning author, Larry McMurtry, divorced in 1976, after 44 years of marriage. Forty-four years! Why, after 44 years, did Mr. and Mrs. McMurtry divorce? There were probably several, but the author, and son, focused on one in the first volume of his memoir.

Larry McMurtry’s father “was haunted” by the price his own mother (Larry’s grandmother) paid for settling on the frontier of Texas. One example was the burden of transporting water from the spring to the cabin, which Mr. McMurtry personally witnessed as a boy. There were, of course, many more hardships she had to endure to assist her husband and serve her growing family.

Larry’s father married a woman, who did not have to endure such toil.  Life was easier. Yet, a tension lingered for the duration of their marriage. As Larry wrote, even though the couple could occasionally have fun, “the core problem remained: my father could not forgive my mother for having an easier life than his mother had.”

The Virgin

Several years ago, radio evangelist, David Jeremiah, told of a pure teen age girl, who was being accosted by some of her more promiscuous girl girlfriends at school, Her reply? "I can be like you whenever I want, but you can never again be like me."

Those girls will one day discover: the less the sexual experience before marriage, the better the sexual experience after marriage.

God’s teachings are not designed to hinder, but to harness all there is out of life.

Always Mr. Right

A fellow wrote in READERS DIGEST about him and his wife getting into an argument, when they were newly married. They were doing errands and discussing current events. Soon they got into an argument over the issues.

The husband reiterated his position forcefully, but his wife had the last word. "When I knew I'd found Mr. Right," she snapped, "I had no idea his first name was ‘Always!’"

Conflicts are inevitable in marriage, but we can “conflict” fair.

Prov. 12:18--Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Let He (or She) Who Thinks He (or She) Stands, Take Heed…

Photo Courtesy of www.LATIMES.COM

Yesterday, I read an article that hit me like a bolt out of the blue—it was a report that Al and Tipper Gore were separating after forty years of marriage. I must confess, if someone back in 1998 had told me Bill and Hillary Clinton were separating, I would have believed it. But the Gores?

I find this so sad. They seemed to have had such a good marriage, and at one time, I trust they did. They had been married forty years.

In one account, I read that some sociologists quit polling couples after forty years of marriage in seeking data for the divorce rate. They consider a marriage to be a success after forty years.

However easy it is to jump on the Gores, I wish to be cautious. The Apostle Paul wrote, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!” (I Cor. 10:12.) I have made it over twenty-one years in my marriage. The last thing I want to do is take my marriage for granted.

How Reading the Bible Saved a Marriage

(I first heard this story on spring break campaign, when I was in college. The person relating it to us said that it came from the voice of HEARTBEAT—
Landon Saunders. For the sake of privacy, I am going to change the names of the spouses.)

Bob, a young man working with HEARTBEAT ministries was a workaholic. Things went sour in his marriage and it disintegrated. The couple obtained a divorce.

Bob, broken-hearted, went to Landon and asked, "What do I do?"

Landon said, "You do nothing—except get up an hour earlier each day and read the Word."

Because the divorced couple had a child, they occasionally had contact with each other. In time, the ex-wife asked Landon, "What has happened to Bob? He has changed so much."

Six months later, the couple remarried. Later, Bob wrote a tract for HEARTBEAT ministries calling it, "An Open Letter to a Troubled Marriage."

Clearly, many variables are present in marriage. However, never underestimate the power of the Word of God on an open heart.