Loving Confrontation

            George Guthrie writes of an experience that made an impact on his life. Sue, a young lady in his singles’ group, confronted him with news he probably did not wish to hear. Here is how he tells the story:

            One day [Sue] approached me–I was serving as head of the singles' Council at the time–and requested we talked privately for a few minutes. Being single, young man I was thrilled at the opportunity; but talk had nothing to with counsel business or romance.

            Sue started by thanking me for the job I was doing in leading the group and said she deeply respected my walk with the Lord. Then she said, “I want to share with you what seems to be a weakness in your life. You are so busy and move so fast from one project or person to another you often lose eye contact with people. By being distracted, failing to maintain eye contact and looking away from a person, you communicate that the person and what they are saying are not important to you at that moment.”

            Sue went on to give examples, showing that the problem, rather than an isolated incident, had a pattern. She also told me about a godly missionary she had known while serving overseas in a journeyman program. This man, with the weight of his vast mission responsibilities on his shoulders, had never failed to stop and listen intently when Sue needed to talk. He had given her “the gift of his presence.”

            Sue's rebuke was painful but much needed. That encounter, which happened over a decade ago, has made a lasting impression on me. To this day if I am in conversation with a person and my attention begins to falter, Sue’s exhortation comes to mind. I challenge myself, “focus, George. Your full attention.” I still struggle with that focus, but that sister in Christ, who risked being misunderstood and becoming the object of my defensiveness, has by her truth telling had an impact on the way I relate to others.

            I can think of no other example of loving confrontation: speaking the truth in love, and then the listener hearing the truth in love, and doing something about it.

Source: HEBREWS NIV APPLICATION COMMENTARY ON HEBREWS by George H. Guthrie

Catch the Ball

            I always had the deepest admiration for Johnny Unitas—one of the greatest quarterbacks who ever lived. Another Hall-of-Fame quarterback, Dan Fouts, backed up Johnny Unitas’ during Fouts’ rookie season. Reflecting on that season, Fouts says:

            “I had the honor of playing with Johnny Unitas my rookie season. For some reason, he liked me. Just watching him was invaluable. Even playing catch with Unitas at practice was a learning experience.

            "The very first ball he threw to me in warmups was a fastball that nearly broke my hands. Johnny told me, 'Always aim for the receiver's nose when throwing a pass.' I asked, 'Why's that?' He said, 'Because if they don't catch it, it'll break their nose. That will make them better receivers.' I learned all of these great little things from him that year.

            The great ones insist that those surrounding them be held accountable!

Source: Peter King SPORTS ILLUSTRATED ONLINE 090511

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/peter_king/09/05/laborday/index.html#ixzz1XBGESdFx

Accountability

Almost ten years ago, FOCUS ON THE FAMILY’S H. B. LONDON commented on the calls his organization received on its toll-free Pastoral Care Line.  (FOCUS was making these lines available to church leaders all over the country.) During the course of a one-month period, FOCUS received over 400 calls. Out of those 400 calls, 20 % dealt with sexual issues. This prompted London to write:

“I'm repeating what I have been saying across the country for nearly a decade. If you do not have someone to whom you are accountable, you are vulnerable. If you do not give your spouse permission to ask you big questions regarding Internet use, you are vulnerable. If you do not have someone outside your door or the door ajar when you counsel a member of the opposite sex, you are vulnerable. But most of all, if you do not have a quiet, intimate time each day with the Lord -- to speak and listen and contemplate -- you are vulnerable. The proof is in the calls we receive....”

Accountability is a tremendous deterrent when it comes to sin.

He Was Missed

            Deep in the heart of my files, I found a reference to a story Paul Harvey was supposed to have reported a decade or two ago. It seems, at that time, a seventy-three year old man was found pinned under his tractor on his farm. He had been there for a few days, but he survived his nightmare.

            What caught the attention of the person sharing this story was the fact that it was the members of his church, who figured out something was wrong. He did not show up for Wednesday night prayer meeting. This guy was always there at prayer meeting. If he was not there, something was wrong!

            Members immediately began investigating and that was when some discovered his terrible plight. What I like about that story was this—the man’s absence was noticed!

            If you were absent from a meeting of your faith community, small group, Bible study, or prayer group, would people notice? Would it be assumed part of your normal routine (here, absent, here, absent…)?

            Something else, do you let members known when you will not be present? At my church, we have a member who is autistic. She suffers from Asperger’s sydrome, just like Temple Grandin. This member is the best I have ever seen at letting me or others know she will not be at a certain event. She offers no surprises, but she does offer accountability.

            Shouldn’t we all practice this? Why is it that someone, who suffers from a disease that hampers her ability to relate to people, is the only one in our church, who gets a very important point about what it means to relate to people?

(Editor's note: in the original, I made reference to "Temple Grande." I am sure somewhere on this planet, someone carries the Spanish name--translated--of "Big Temple." However, that is not the same person as the one I intended to reference--Temple Grandin. My bad.) 

Accountability

When James Dobson formed FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, he could have packed the board of directors with “yes” men. He chose not to. Instead, he named strong personalities that, at times, clashed with his own views. And when he needed to submit to the board, he did so.

We are all accountable to someone. Professors to department heads. Preachers to elders. Employees to bosses.  Politicians to the voters.

It is never easy to be accountable, but it helps us become more of who God designed us to be. Even when the advice of our overseers is bad, the act of submitting can be good.

I guess that is why the Bible spends so much time encouraging us to submit.

The Intruded Upon Intruder

Last month, police in Kennewick, Washington received a report of a break-in in a local office furniture business. It did not take the police long to discover who the invader was—a 17-year-old young man.

It did not take the authorities long because he left a clear electronic trail. It seems that once inside, the young man logged onto the company computer and accessed several websites—including his MySpace page. Even worse, he attempted to sell items online that he planned to steal from the store.

The young man made the same mistake most people make. What he assumed was done in secret, in reality, was seen by a much larger audience. It is the same for all of us. Even in secret, our deeds, even our thoughts, are being seen by a larger audience. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit see all.

I am not asking this reminder make us more legalistic, avoiding wrong simply to avoid getting caught. I do hope it will cause us to be respectful of God, and to remember Scripture does not hesitate to remind us that God will hold us accountable for our thoughts and actions.